relationships

for the life of me i never pretended to understand how the Bahamian mind worked when it came to relationships and dating. i never entered that bubble until i was 18 days shy of 17 when i started to date my now ex-b/f. up until that point, i was considered the oddball kid, who had a mouth to match her actions, who didn't put up with shit from anyone. the only time boys would cal my name it would be for homework help, never to consider me as a potential life partner. needless to say, it ended up being a lonely existence for most of my high school life- although it did mean i was spared the usual 'boy drama'. and due to my level head, some girls who'd otherwise not give a shit, would come to me to 'talk' about their issues.

yea. way to spend 6 years of life. the bridesmaid who'd never get married.

i had so stupidly thought that relationships like two of my galpals had was what to strive for- they both seemed so happy. i thought everything was going great, until a week after we had hit 6 months, reality fucked me over, and i was single and heartbroken once again. but this time i felt like dying, never existing again. to this day i don't know what happened.


college started, and for all my fears about being labeled the 'desperate rebounder' on top of all the other labels, i fell hard for my current love Tavares. it's been over a year now since we started dating and i really couldn't be much happier with him. i truly believe i've found something so stable and real with him. i don't have to cry on anyone's shoulder about problems with him because we both speak when something's wrong. we don't rush anything. everything's taken a day at a time.

i wish i could say the same for some of the people around me.

i mean, two 19 year-olds engaged and still in college? another friend of mine engaged? bitter fueds between exes and friends, alienating those who only step up to protect a friend, infuriating those who wish to be left out of it? going so far to spite and ridicule, that they must use public networking sites to spread their hate amongst themselves? going to the extreme and MARRYING by name alone after 7 months of dating?? what the FUCK have we become? are we really so low, so despicable, so vile, that this is the kind of stuff we must do to feel like we're moving somewhere in life?

sometimes i wish i was back in my own bubble again. but at least i know that me and Tavares have enough sense to last us for a damn long time.

i pity the fools.