A Re-Evaluation of Myself

I'm currently back in the Bahamas and thoroughly loving being around my home again.  The family seems warmer, the sun friendlier, the air sweeter with the dialect, the saltwater and familiarity.  It's amazing what you miss when you are absent from it for half a year.

I'm not in the practice of being very 'open' on this blog in particular.  But things have happened over the past six months that have only helped me grow as a person- although I very nearly paid a terrible, irreplaceable price for it.  But such is the road of life and the lessons that it teaches us.  It was enough of a wake-up call that I needed to do a lot of soul-searching and re-evaluate myself down to the smallest element.



I am Mallorie.

I am 21.

And I am a walking contradiction.



I am a 'proud black woman', but I struggle to accept and embrace my own femininity.

I love the art in life.  I want to fully immerse myself in it whenever I can. I love the stories within my mind and I want to share them with the world.  The art community is where I'm happiest- covered in paint and glue and words and ink, surrounded by enlightened souls who can weave their passions into their being- and I'm proud to be counted amongst its numbers.  I want to help my own community grow and nurture it so that we can reclaim a fallen, unloved sense of pride for culture- that only we as tillers of the creative soil can create.

I am proud of my country even knowing all of  its dangerous flaws and prejudices.

I am a Piscean- deep and indecisive.  I am a dreamer and I trust too easily.  Otherworldly waters flow through my veins like the ocean against my toes and I adapt in life to everything that they throw to me.  Compassion and love makes me smile, cruelty and intolerance boil my blood.  If you cry, I'll sob with you.  Laugh and my nose will wrinkle in pleasure.  I think with my head but act with my heart, for better or worse.

I am not with in touch with the Christian God of my bloodline or my country, but believe in Love's elusive power, and that it will one day prevail over all the prejudices religions enforce.

Sometimes my past pain and hurt affect my reasoning and I act in self-defense...no, self-preservation.  My fear of abandonment and failure can sometimes cripple me, and I implode upon myself to spare my loved ones the grief and trouble.  I'm trying to work on that.


I love deeply.  Deeper than I myself may realize.  And love in return- for everything that I am, and all that I am not- is all I need to be happy.