like the rug from my feet is gone

i feel incredibly melancholy right now, like someone has smilingly yanked the floorboards from me. at the moment, i only want to disappear. i'm hoping it's nothing but a hormonal flux.

i spoke to dad about the situation with mom and her trying to force me out of art, and while some parts of the talk were frustrating, it was more than comforting to hear someone calmly reason it out and explain to me their motives, and- something mom doesn't seem to know how to do- actually listen to me and how i feel. i trust my dad enough not to be deceptive and try to mollycoddle me, but he's the only person in the house who can talk to me and give me the same amount of respect i give him. mom seems to always adopt this domineering attitude when it comes to things like this, and berates me as if i'm not a feeling young adult, but a mindless, naive child. i've left that stage a long time ago.